talk tuna

According to SIguidos.com and SItherock.org the Winter Olympics are set to take place in just 16 years in the wonderful borough of NYC – Staten Island!

DJ Pauly D of CNN.com reports, “Yeah yo, me n mike thought it would be cool if they did this. So, we texted our boy Obama and he responded, ‘no doubt’.”

funny excerpt from Dominic Pinto of Pessimets.com, great stuff!

Satan: So Luis, what can I do for you?

Luis: As you know I’m coming off a horrible injury filled season. I’m making a lot of money and am playing like crap. I’ll do anything to have a good injury free year this season. I really need to live up to this contract.

Satan: Ahh, anything you say? I always love to hear those words. Ok your wish is my command. But what would you be willing to give up in order to have that injury free, great year of baseball? What if every major player on your team has to go on the D.L.? What if I give you that injury free year of great baseball but your team will be far from playoff contention by the end of July and every Met fan will hate themselves?

Luis: Oh I don’t know, can’t you keep everyone healthy including me?

Satan: No Luis. It’s either you or everyone good on the team.

Luis: Ok fine, just do what you have to do. But don’t make me look too good. I don’t want to be constantly tested for P.E.D.’s and stand out too much.

Satan: Sure, you won’t be all-star but you’ll have a great year. I’ll even make you have an embarrassing game losing error along the way. Or I’ll have you slip and fall so you’ll be out a couple days but not on the D.L. No one will be the wiser of deal. It’ll be our little secret. Fair enough?

Luis: Thanks, Satan, you’re the best! Besides, I still owe you from when you made Omar give me that ridiculous contract (laughing).

After last night’s spectacular play at first base, the Knicks have made contact with Daniel Murphy in regards to taking over their starting Point Guard position in place of Chris Duhon.

Daniel Murphy First Base Play July 8, 2009

Mike Dantoni commented on ESPN last night: “AHHHHH”

Daniel Murphy, a natural born behind-the-back tosser wasn’t taken back by the Knicks offer, and said, he’d take it, if it wasn’t for him already making a deal previously, directly after the game.

Staten Island, NY — the bad rap for staten islanders continues.

for the second time in 6 years, the last crash occurring in 2003, the ferry crashes into the slip. before we think about this statistic, we should ask ourselves, how hard is it really to park a boat in the same spot over and over?

cnn report>

Leeches, the new star in modern medicine. Next up, blood draining!

Leeches?!?! “Yes Leeches,” according to our confidential informant inside Obama’s health-care administration. “Leeches have been used for hundreds of years in countless civilizations as a way to cure many diseases. Best of all they cost significantly less than alternative modern techniques. So we can now give those fucking poor, old and useless, non-english speaking immigrants and constantly nagging people all the care they need.” According to our informant, leeches are currently being breed in what seems to be a huge outbreak business in the U.S., leech farms. We managed to find one of the top leech farmers in the south and were lucky enough to have him speak to us. “Leeches now sell fo’ a lo moe. Me and Sue Ann is so happy that we gon buy us two pigs an a hammock! Dem use to say to me, “Clayton no one will eva buy dem leeches off a you, thats a fool’s crop.” Yeah well woos tha fool now?!.” The Obama administration will begin supply leeches to all of the nation’s hospitals along with detailed instructions on how to use this cutting edge technology. Leeches are the future.